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June 30, 2010The 40-Year-Old Virgin (Biker)
I have admired motorcycles from afar for as long as I can remember. When I was in the third grade my favorite piece of clothing was a mesh t-shirt (hey, it was the 70’s) with an image of a dirt-bike and rider in mid jump on the front. I wore the shirt as often as my mom would let me, until it was more hole than shirt. I would fantasize that the biker in the picture was me and think that everyone who saw the shirt would think it was me too. I was in the third grade, it sounded reasonable then. A few years later, my father bought a cruiser. After school I would sneak to the back yard and sit on it for a few minutes, again fantasizing about being on the open road. However, fantasies and realities were two very different animals. The few times that my dad took me out on the back of the cruiser were not as fun as I had thought they would be. I was too preoccupied with the thought of falling off the back to enjoy the ride. The long-distance love affair with motorcycles continued into my adult years. My brother-in-law has ridden sport bikes for as long as I can remember. Around ten years ago, he taught one of my cousins to ride. They have been riding together ever since. I watched. Contemplated. But never took the plunge. In my early thirties, I dated a woman who was also interested in bikes. She bought a bike after we stopped dating. A Gixxer. She brought it around a few times to let me take a look at it. At the time I couldn’t tell you the difference between a Gixxer and a Twizzler, but the bike did look nice! Fast forward a few years. I’m now 40 and riding was still in the back of my mind. I don’t know who brought the topic up, but as it turns out, my wife was interested in riding too. So I found information about the Basic Riding Course in Southern Maryland and signed us up. The Basic Riding Course is a four-day class. Two days in the classroom and two days riding motorcycles on the driving range. Successful completion of the class earns you a motorcycle endorsement on your driver’s license. The first day in the classroom went as expected. We received our study materials, learned the basic controls on a motorcycle, and watched some safety videos. As I reviewed the material listened to the instructor, I pinpointed what I thought would be my primary difficulty in riding a motorcycle: shifting the gears. The mechanics of shifting are simple. I just feared that when it was time to shift, my brain would revert to car mode when it needed to be in motorcycle mode. Manual transmissions are nothing new to me. Six of the seven cars I’ve owned were manuals. I’ve been shifting car gears for twenty-four years. Now my brain was going to have to think about something that it usually does instinctively. The gear shift is no longer the right hand; it’s the left foot. Instead of using my left foot to clutch, now it’s the left hand. As the great Yoda said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.” The second classroom day was just like the first. At the end of class we took the written portion of test. My wife and I both passed. We were half way to getting our motorcycle licenses. Now only the riding course stood in our way. Day three. The first day on the driving range. My wife and I were taking the driving portion on different days. Me first and her a week later. As I suspected, I had to think much more than I would have preferred to ride the bike. All in all though, everything went well. I didn’t stall the bike and I didn’t lay it down. However, we did have a sobering moment on the course. About half way through the class, while doing a quick stop exercise, one of the students lost control of her bike. I didn’t see the accident, just the aftermath. The student had veered off of the driving range by about twenty yards. She narrowly missed two vertical steel supports that held up the roof of a small rest area on an adjacent driving range. She traveled through the rest area, missing the two picnic tables. After leaving the rest area, the bike hit the ground and she and the bike slid for another ten yards. Hitting the ground probably saved her from very serious injury. She was heading for the trailer of a parked eighteen-wheeler. She and the bike slid to a stop underneath the trailer. She was ok. She had some bumps and bruises and a scarred up helmet (that probably saved her life). Still, the instructor had someone call an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital to get checked out. The accident deflated the spirits of the class but it also made us re-focus our attention on safe riding procedures. The rest of the class went on without incident. Day four, the last day on the driving range. It was already 95 degrees at noon. We were supposed to be outside from one to six pm. Tough day ahead! More riding practice and the riding test were in store. The riding test had all ten students stressed. It consisted of four skills tests. You don’t pass the test if you receive more than fifteen penalty points. The first test was U-turns. I screwed it up. I went outside of the marked lines and put my foot on the ground. Six penalty points. Not a good start. The second test was swerving to avoid an object. I passed, no penalty points. Whew. On to test number three, the quick stop. In this test, you are supposed to get the bike up to speed in second gear and then break, downshift, and stop in the shortest distance possible. I did everything right except I overshot the recommended stopping distance by two feet. Two penalty points. At this point in the test I wasn’t sure how well I had performed. I didn’t feel very good but at least there was only one more skill to test, cornering, and I was GOOD at cornering, at least that’s what I thought. I got five penalty points on the cornering test. I was going too slow! After all was said and done, I passed the class with thirteen penalty points. Two more points and I would have had to take the riding test again on another day. Three students weren’t so lucky. One will have to take the riding test over. Two others may have to take the whole class again. Now that I have my motorcycle license, the next big decision is which, if any, bike to get. I actually like cruisers and sport bikes. Maybe we’ll get one each for me and my wife. Or, maybe we’ll get nothing. I have my license and I’m happy. I’m a biker now! I think I might be content if I was just able to find a mesh t-shirt with a picture of a motorcycle on it.
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March 22, 2010
Midlife. No Crisis.
By Neal McNeil
In 2003, a few weeks before my thirty-fourth birthday, I bought my very first convertible sports car. At the time, a friend asked if I was going through a midlife crisis. I was single, no kids, and no major debt except for a mortgage. What kind of crisis could I possibly have been experiencing? My answer to the question was that I wasn't having a crisis. I was just an adult who had reached a point in life where I could finally get the kind of car that I had dreamed about since I was a teenager. Maybe I was approaching midlife, but I was definitely not having a crisis.
I believe that the midlife crisis label is applied too often today and has become a cliché for any adult who has the audacity to enjoy their life, regardless of how others may view their choices. It seems that any time a middle-aged adult does something that his or her friends would not do, those friends want to call it a midlife crisis. There are undoubtedly many people who have experienced traumatic events in their lives causing them to re-evaluate how they have lived, change their lives around, or indulge in what can be considered reckless behavior. However, I would venture to say that there are also a large number of people who are simply enjoying their lives to the fullest, even if that means doing something as simple as treating themselves to an ice cream sundae in the dead of winter. No crisis there.
When I was twenty-nine, I made a list of things that I would like to do before I died. I called my list, 101 Things to Do, even though I only came up with 38 things. (Number 33 on the list was, "Expand List to 101." I never did.) Today, people refer to such lists as bucket lists, as in, things they want to do before they kick the bucket.
I had not looked at the list since I got that convertible seven years ago. I recently found it on my laptop, buried in a folder that contained files transferred from one of my older computers. When I opened the file I was surprised to see that I was able to cross off many of the items that I did not even remember being on the list. I have completed a few of the smaller activities like visiting Luray Caverns and taking a kayaking trip on the Potomac. I may never complete some of the more grandiose activities on my list. Will I ever produce a Super Bowl commercial? Will I ever meet a sitting U.S. President? Who knows? But, as I reviewed the big and small items on the list, I knew that I was going to have fun trying to cross them off.
A lot has changed in the years since I made that list. I celebrated my 40th birthday last year. I sold that first convertible sports car, and replaced it with a second. I got married. I have a ten year old stepson now, and we are awaiting the birth of our daughter. I was lucky enough to find a wife who has similar interests as me and a desire to experience life. I shared my list with her and I was happy to see that she encouraged me to continue to work towards completing everything I had written down.
My wife and I are now making a mental list of things we want to do together. We recently bought inflatable kayaks so we can spend a few lazy Saturdays on the water this summer. Next on the list - take a riding class and get our motorcycle licenses. I am positive that some friends will ask if we are going through a midlife crisis. My answer will be, "No. We're just having some midlife fun."